Once, when I was in my thirties, my dad told me he had gone to see his long lost sister in Salt Lake City. He had pictures and everything. This was the first I ever heard of my Aunt Virginia.
Virginia was my dad's half sister on his mom, my grandmother's side. My dad said she was a socialist, and I told him he should give me her phone number. He said no, you two would just be a bad influence on each other. This irked me, of course, especially since my dad gave my number to perfect strangers sometimes, if he felt like it.
Some years later, my sister-in-law moved to Jackson, Wyoming, and I managed to talk my husband into driving from Southern California to Wyoming for a visit. We drove right through Salt Lake City on the way.
When we planned to return to Wyoming the next year, I remembered my dad's sister was in Salt Lake City, and once again requested her number from my dad, and he gave it to me.
I called her up and told her I was her niece, her brother Bryan's daughter, that I was coming through Salt Lake City, and would she like to visit. She said yes. She was 85 years old.
On our first visit, she told me about her life. I learned of all of the trials she faced in childhood and her marriages. She told me how she hadn't seen any of her family for the most part since she got to go with her democratic club to have tea with Eleanor Roosevelt and was then labeled a communist by her family.
I called her up and told her I was her niece, her brother Bryan's daughter, that I was coming through Salt Lake City, and would she like to visit. She said yes. She was 85 years old.
On our first visit, she told me about her life. I learned of all of the trials she faced in childhood and her marriages. She told me how she hadn't seen any of her family for the most part since she got to go with her democratic club to have tea with Eleanor Roosevelt and was then labeled a communist by her family.
In front of Sun and Moon Cafe in Salt Lake City
She was thrilled to finally have someone from her extended family of origin who wanted to see her. I was thrilled to finally have extended family I had things in common with.
She told me she loved me, and I told her I loved her, too.
These visits became regular each year as my family drove to Wyoming. I tried to give Aunt Virginia a call once in a while, too. Eventually, she'd ask when I'd come see her again. Annual visits turned into twice a year.
It's only ten hours from Southern California to Salt Lake City. I would put my kids in the car and drive out, stay overnight, and head home. We even brought someone else along a couple times.
She told me she loved me, and I told her I loved her, too.
These visits became regular each year as my family drove to Wyoming. I tried to give Aunt Virginia a call once in a while, too. Eventually, she'd ask when I'd come see her again. Annual visits turned into twice a year.
It's only ten hours from Southern California to Salt Lake City. I would put my kids in the car and drive out, stay overnight, and head home. We even brought someone else along a couple times.
I had planned to come see my aunt this week with my two kids, and my sister is here with two of her kids as well. She wanted so badly to see all of us again. One of my favorite sayings these days is, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
During my visits with Aunt Virginia, I also learned about her dedication to peace, justice, and what she referred to as the brotherhood of man.
Sometimes when we talked, she would ask me about what we could do to solve so many of the world's problems. I'm glad she inspired me to contemplate that question deeply. And to come up with my answer: wherever you go, spread as much love and kindness as you can. Each of us can only change the world by acting, doing all we can to help others in our lifetimes, not waiting for someone else to make things better.
Sometimes when we talked, she would ask me about what we could do to solve so many of the world's problems. I'm glad she inspired me to contemplate that question deeply. And to come up with my answer: wherever you go, spread as much love and kindness as you can. Each of us can only change the world by acting, doing all we can to help others in our lifetimes, not waiting for someone else to make things better.
I'm pretty sure Aunt Virginia would like these words from Gandhi: "If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him... We need not wait to see what others do."
I know my aunt lived a life that made the world a little better for those around her. I'm so glad I knew her.
To see her obituary, check out
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/saltlaketribune/obituary.aspx?n=virginia-bell-ward&pid=162269653#fbLoggedOut
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/saltlaketribune/obituary.aspx?n=virginia-bell-ward&pid=162269653#fbLoggedOut
